Trends in Japanese Beer Commercials

I, like probably ninety seven percent of the heterosexual male population of Japan, kind of dig Dan Rei in those Suntory Kin-Mugi commercials.

(Rough translation: she's running, running, RUNNING through the park to tell you something, but when she reaches you she forgets what she was going to say.)

At first I thought I liked them because it was a beer commercial and she was actually acting drunk. I mean, that should be a no brainer - it's gotta play a pretty big part in motivating people to drink beer - but it's incredibly rare to see anyone actually acting believably drunk in any kind of alcohol advertising. From acting tipsy it's a slippery slope to vomiting and vehicular manslaughter I guess.

(An aside now to point out that Kin-Mugi isn't even, actually beer, but happoshu, something that wikipedia describes, mouthwateringly, as a "tax bracket of japanese liquor", and a "beer like beverage." It's cheaper than beer, that's for sure, but my main feeling whenever I'm drinking happoshu is: man, I could really do with a beer. I tried to like Kin-Mugi, for both Dan Rei and my wallet, but... no dice.)

Then of course, I realised it was because she was drunk and talking directly to the camera as if you (the viewer) are her boyfriend. Or date. Or at least some dude she's willing to flirt with in the park. Of course this isn't new, but I do think that the fun, light, and... somewhat inebriated tone of the Suntory Kin-Mugi CMs is pretty eye-catching and, in a way, unique.

That is, until Asahi noticed how succesful the commercials were and got smart to advertise their new happoshu, Kutsurogi-Jikomi <4VG>:

(Rough translation: "Want a kutsurogi?" Short and to the point I suppose.)

What was it that Bill Hicks said about gum ads? If you want, you can check out the accompanying Asahi website too, and pretend that you're actually in that appartment... ah... I mean your appartment, with Kitagawa Keiko. I warn you though, there are no pictures of you, only her, which is kind of vain when you think about it.

Really though, the top rated youtube comment on that advert says it all. I'd translate it for you but I don't want to be needlessly crude and... it's pretty much stating the obvious.

Japanese TV Commercial Break - Tarantino Style

So I tune in to watch Music Station, but Music Station is on "holiday" because of the stupid figure skating. Instead however, I caught this:

Now that, is pretty awesome. I mean, I didn't know this was going to happen and I just googled it to find that - shock! - most Western commentators are hung up on the 'shilling' aspect, and mention Brad Pitt shilling for the same company, since the two are easily connected through Inglorious Basterds. That's how journalism works, by the way. Just for the record Cameron Diaz also shills for Softbank, Tommy Lee Jones shows no signs of stopping the BOSS coffee ads, and Robert DeNiro is doing car ads now.

But screw that noise, let 'em shill if they want to. What's awesome is that the Softbank CMs with the White Family are actually really funny. I'm pretty sure that I've blogged about them before, but you can find some of them subtitled on youtube, and they get some really nice jokes out of the fact that the brother is a black guy, the father is a dog and the mother and the sister are Japanese (my favourite being when the daughter's new boyfriend mistakes a regular dog for the father and pisses her dad off). This one is actually less funny, mostly relying on the fact that Tarantino is a goof and his wife shouts at him for it's yuks, but you can't have everything, y'know. In fact, why would you even ask? I just don't get you sometimes. I'm pretty sure Tarantino made up most of what he's doing, but it does look like he put all his famous hyperactivity into it, and it made me smile.

I already got my new phone though, so I don't think I can get hold of that big Otousan speaker thing now.

I love Shiina Ringo moonwalking

Spotted by Yuki on TV the other day, Shiina Ringo in a new Watering KissMint ad:

A pretty awesome ad where Ringo-chan has a Watering KissMint (ah, that product name doesn't even seem strange to me anymore) and then decides to do a moonwalk and a really cool pose. I'm for it!

And of course this led me to find out that Tokyo Jihen have a new single coming out:

Hmmm, I'm not sure about the single really, but the video is great and also includes moonwalking. I like to think that this whole thing is some conceptual art project paying tribute to Michael Jackson in the most deadpan way possible, but who can say. I really should have known about this single before of course, but apparently news broke while I was out of the country, and while there is a really good Shiina Ringo English language forum - that place is just exhausting. I don't mean to be horrible, but I really can't be bothered to spend any time there. I feel my life force being sucked away as soon as I even think about commenting there.

Englanding #9 : Disquieting

So yes, busy, busy, busy. This Tuesday is from the following Tuesday, I'm sure you understand.

Japan has a zillion crazy ads. Of course it does, ads with people doing crazy things and ads with shouting. Lots of those. But still, I can't remember an advert that has disturbed me as much as the new Cadbury's bunny that I saw almost as soon as I got back.


The Caramel Bunny has been around for a long time (I think possibly they retired her for a while?) and, yes, possibly could be blamed for the rise of furries in the United Kingdom. I'd like a Freakonomics style breakdown of that actually - how many people who grew up with the Cadbury's bunny on their screens as a teen eventually fell into that little fetish? Wait, that's probably in the new Freakonomics book already isn't it. And it probably still tells us nothing interesting about the world.

So but anyway my problem with this new Cadbury's bunny is the way she seems to be a photoshop morph, halfway between a rabbit and a person. The figure, and those lips are especially chilling. It's like perhaps Cadbury's retired her while their black ops genetics lab went to work actually creating a real life Cabury's bunny girl, and now they're just doing photo shoots.

Creepy.

Japanese TV Commercial Break

So, those fiendishly addictive chocolate/salt snack that I mentioned (and of which I polished off another box yesterday and today) have a fiendishly addictive TV commercial to boot:

It actually says something along the lines of "salty and chocolatey" and "once you've eaten them you'll be addicted". Damn you Chip Chop... damn you to hell.

Kai-kun

My mobile phone company here in Japan is Softbank, which is fine, whatever. I'm not sure how it compares to the other brands but it seems to work OK for me. I do like their TV commercials though, featuring a bizzare family arrangement where the father is played by this guy:


Celebrity super-dog, Kai-kun (photo yoinked from here). He's a gruff voiced father figure in the body of an adorable dog, and the commercials play it perfectly. I couldn't find my favourite one, where his daughter's new boyfriend mistakes a regular, non-talking dog, for him, but this one makes it pretty clear:

He's a star outside the commercials too I think, because me and Yuki found a whole DVD boxed-set of him... doing stuff. I don't know, contemplating life, reality, the nature of things. He's adorable and I dig the ads, but I'm feeling that the voice of Otousan (father) is just as deserving of the adoration. You can't have a juxtaposition without two things to juxtaposate... against... one another...

Anyway - Look! Cute dog post!

Accordians

I keep downloading these old comics because I think they'll be fun to read. But instead of picking over the awesome sixties and seventies comic art, I instead find myself carefully scrutinizing the bizarre ads that were pitched at kids back then.


If they put ads for accordians in Marvel comics now I would be all over that shit.

America's Most Amusing Pet, circa 1971

Be a Skilled Locksmith!

Some words of comfort in these trying times:


An advert from Marvel Team-Up #74, from sometime in the 70s. I'm pretty sure that the advice still applies now though. And you'll notice it's vouched for by one Ideal F. Baldom II, of Riviera Beach, Fla. so they must be a legitimate educational concern.

Boys! Are you old enough to wear Lees?

Well?

Click on the image below to get the full, educational story. Complete with ass-zoom!

And for the record, yes, I do own a pair of Lee jeans.

The World of Golden Eggs part 2

Another reason Golden Eggs was in my head was this:

So I guess it's hit the mainstream here.

The Existential Terror of the SMAP Meiji Chocolate Ads

SMAP, Japan-straddling, J-pop colossusses. Meiji Chocolate, one of the biggest brands in Japan. Together they bring you... SPINE CHILLING TERROR.

Seriously, I know they're going for wacky, Willy Wonka-esque japes here, but Shingo comes off a lot more Child-catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for me:

And as for this one... that ain't an advert for chocolate pal.

That's an advert for something a lot stronger than chocolate.

Though Goro has never looked better than as a giant, demonic, drummer boy.