I want to punch Satoshi Ohno from Arashi in the goddamn face

Have you ever just wanted to punch someone in the face? I mean, for no reason really, just because their face was so incredibly... punchable? I kind of assume that everyone has, so I'm sure you can empathize with this post.

The Johnny's boy-band Arashi have been appearing in ads for au mobile phones for a while now, and one of these ads featured their leader Satoshi Ohno:


Look at that face. Look at it. C'mon take a good long look, really drink it in. Don't you just want to lamp him? Faintly smug, mostly vacant... can't you just picture planting a good solid right on that creamy cheek? I sure as hell know I can, there's something about Satoshi Ohno that just presses my punching buttons. And look how soft and round his face looks! I bet it would hardly hurt at all, either his face or my fist. It'd be like slugging the Michelin Man or Archer Prewitt's Sof' Boy.

Apparently Ohno is the leader of Arashi. Leader is a common concept among Japanese boy-bands: it's kind of like "The Tough One", "The Cute One", "The Funny One", "The Leader". He's said to be the best dancer, the best singer and the most artistically gifted. All that could be true, but it bags him diddly in my book of face-punchings. Next time I'm in Tokyo... look sharp Satoshi Ohno.